Unanswered Questions

Where am I headed?

Where am I going?

From the raging seas into the whirling rivers?

 I thought I kept a mirror with me always,

To remind myself of who I am.,

When did that become an illusion?

When did I start dreaming?

 I kept away from it,

Made a wall to make it not reach me,

I lowered my eyes from it,

I turned my back to it,

When did it come so near to touch my shadow?

When did it make my heart beat?

Days alone, faking a smile,

Nights alone, letting that one tear escape,

I thought I was strong enough,

Not to fall again,

When did I fall to look up?

When did I let it get better of me?

 I was happy, or thought so at least,

Getting through, getting along,

Thought things are in place,

Thought I was out of the race,

When did the desperation come in?

When did my eyes start searching?

 Never realized this will be so tough,

I thought I was strong enough for everything,

Pretending still to be,

In search of that solitude again,

Knowing nothing is going anywhere,

I smile without a reason,

When did I open my arms again?

When did things happen?

 unanswered questions, untold feelings,

thought i was done with it,

stopping and thinking,

afraid again of what will happen,

when did i start leaning?

when did it start glowing?

when.....................